Cool things I've seen

Death by gutter ice, continued. Two cars with cardboard and plywood on them to protect from falling ice chunks during snow removal in Feb and March.

Parking spots are hard to come by in this city, so I can understand their reluctance to vacate.

Here's a shot I'm proud of. Watching the snow removal on Nevsky, I caught a giant chunk of ice plummeting to the sidewalk.

Here's a cool shot from Maslenitsa - the week-long celebration leading up to Lent. It's the frozen Neva river with Peter and Paul Fortress in the background and a line of people walking across the river between islands.

That same day I spotted a lonely ice fisherman. Don't think he'd had any luck yet.

Recent notes and observations

1) Last weekend I went with the group to Novgorod, the first Russian city, settled in 859AD. Great place - lots of nice, wide streets, green areas and parks, something you don't always see in Russia. Highlights included our professor buying everyone shots of "heavy artillery" (some herbal liquor), going on a rusting Soviet-era fair ride (one of those ones that spins and then tilts almost vertical), and going to a skete (it's a real word!) where a monk told us to take our hands out of our pockets because "a church is not a monument."

2) A package finally arrived for me today which is postmarked from my parents March 5. It had stuff for my camera in it - so expect pictures!

Of bubbles and neo-Nazis

This would be funny if it weren't true: skinheads attack bubble-blowing teenagers in St. Petersburg, mistaking them for gay pride activists.

But it gets worse - after the 500 or so young bubblers were attacked by approx. 30 men, the OMON riot police showed up... and arrested the bubble-blowers for "walking on the grass".

"“Put away your bubbles,” one police officer commanded through a megaphone."

You can't make that shit up!

Q: What do L. Ron Hubbard and Hitler have in common?

A: Their books have recently been added to Russia's federal list of extremist materials. According to The Other Russia, after "psycholinguistic analysis" the Prosecutor General has banned the works of L. Ron Hubbard because “Specialists in the fields of psychiatry, psychology and sociology concluded that the materials presented for analysis are not acceptable to distribute, as they undermine the traditional spiritual basis of the lives of citizens of the Russian Federation."

If you peruse the list (here, in Russian) you'll  see three other types of literature, the kind you would expect: Russian nationalist/neo-Nazi, radical Islamic/Caucasian propoganda, and revolutionary/anti-government materials. Mein Kampf was also banned a few weeks ago, but neither Hubbard or Hitler appear on the list yet.

But of all the works that are banned on the territory of the Russian Federation, I'd love to hear an explanation for document #229, a magazine called "Wild West Stories."

Um, what?

[Movies] Stalker

After describing to a friend the crazy theories of 19th century Russian philosopher Nikolai Fedorov (eternal life, resurrection of the dead, space colonies, other cool stuff), she recommended that I watch the movie Stalker. It's directed by Andrei Tarkvosky, the famous Russian director who produced lots of famous arty stuff I can't name and haven't seen, except Solaris.

It's got a cool sci-fi-ish premise despite the placard at right, which leads one to believe its about a bald pedophile and his crutch-walking prey. No, instead, an alien force has landed out in Siberia, but any one or thing who goes to investigate disappears or gets killed. Eventually the authorities cordon off the entire area, which they dub "The Zone." There are a few people - Stalkers - who are able to navigate the area. Rumor has it that in one of the abandoned buildings of the Zone there's a room which will grant your deepest desires.

 (They sneak into the Zone behind that train full of transformers.)

It's basically a good excuse for lots of philosophizing and long, uninterrupted shots of beautifully rusty post-industrial landscapes. According to the Wikipedia page: "The film contains not more than 142 shots in 163 minutes with an average shot length of almost one minute and many shots lasting for more than four minutes." Crazy! Anyway, cool cinematography even if somewhat pretenious.

Also, the film doesn't really have anything to do with Fedorov.

Holy bread

On Saturday I finished classes, which means my personal tourist season has officially opened. In addition to the museum yesterday, I went to Peter the Great's original wooden "domik," a cottage which he had built in three days on the bank of Neva river, inaugurating construction of the city to follow.

Today I dropped by the Alexander Nevsky monastery, named after the 13th century knight who beat off the Germans and Swedes. A few years back he was voted Greatest Russian of Ever. His remains lie in a silver tomb at the eastern aisle of Trinity Church. I was somewhat annoyed at having to wait until I moved to St. Pete to visit him - Peter ordered that his body be transported here from Vladimir where he'd already resided for some four centuries. If I remember correctly, a finger or knuckle still remains there as a relic.

I stood reverently, wondering which parts of this great man had been encased and that silver box. A steady stream of devotees mounted the two small steps to bow, kiss his metallic coffin, touch their heads to the velvet carpet on which it sat. A man and a woman arrived with two newborns, lovingly bundled in matching carrycots, like bowling balls on couples' league night. They stood at the corners of the tomb, a child for each. Finally, the man approached and prayed for the health and prosperity of his new son or daughter. Then he backed down the step, exchanged children, and returned.

In the back corner, by the door, a small crowd prayed over the body of an elderly woman, lying in wake. A priest held a small service on the opposite side of the nave. Three men intoned orthodox chants in a corner.

Alienated by orientalism, I wandered the adjacent cemeteries and paid respect to a few lesser saints: Anatoly Sobchak (the city's first democratic mayor), Pyotr Tschaikovsky, Fyodor Dostoevsky.

Then I followed the smell of rising bread to a bakery tucked next to the cathedral, where I bought a loaf freshly baked that morning for 46 roubles ($1.50). There was traffic, so I walked home and ate thick slices with butter and wondered if anyone ever brought their newborn to Dostoevsky's grave and, if so, what exactly he would ask.

Museums and stuff

I went a few weeks ago to the Dostoevsky Apartment-Museum. It's the last apartment he lived in, a corner apartment, rather large and bourgeois, with a view of a church steeple from his study (a feature he demanded of every apartment he lived in).

But the friends I went with were less than impressed with the assortment of historical artifacts on display. The tour guide made much of a black woolen top hat which had been preserved under a glass dome.

Today I went to the State Museum of the Political History of Russia, and like most Russian political museums it featured a lot of pictures of men in uniform and incriminating documents. Also:

• A set of binoculars used by Khrushchev in his trip to America
• A hat given by Fidel Castro to Yuri Gagarin
• A plaid shirt belonging to Nobel prize winning scientist and human rights activist Andrei Sakharov
• A "plaster cast ham" that had been used by revolutionaries to conceal a revolver

"Нам наплевать"

Don't know if this made the news stateside but after the Medvedev-Obama lovefest, Dmitry went to South America where he signed some trade deals and shook some hands.

In Argentina, he was asked how Washington views his activity in Latin America, to which he replied: "Я надеюсь, это никого не трогает, а если и трогает, то нам на это наплевать." Or, roughly, "I hope it doesn't bother anyone, but if it does, we don't give a damn."

"Hаплевать" literally means "spit" and the phrase is rude and colloquial enough that people here we're talking about it like, "He said WHAT?"

I kind of like it...

Moscow's "monument" to Peter the Great makes it to Foreign Policy's list of World's Ugliest Statues. (Also previously ranked 10th ugliest building or statue by the editors and readers of VirtualTourist.com.)

Word on the street is that artist Zurab Tsereteli's creation was originally intended as a representation of Christopher Columbus, but that no U.S. city would take it. Luckily, he's friend with the quirky mayor of Moscow, Luzhkov. Wikipedia here.

Photo from Foreign Policy

Dmitry on Twitter

Commentators here and there have been reporting that Medvedev is gonna start tweeting, that he'll have a Twitter account running by this summer.

I'm as big a Medvedev fan as the next guy, but I don't have high hopes for this project - I mean, he already has at least three blogs, one of which hasn't been updated since February and the other two which are basically press conferences or meeting clips with comments enabled.

The last non-video clip, text-based posting on Medvedev's LiveJournal "blog" is from December 8, 2009 and is a legal declaration on the regulation of casinos.

All this is to say that my hopes for an off-the-cuff, extemporaneous and lively Twitter feed are extremely low.

For that, I'll direct your attention to the Twitter account of Russia's representative to NATO, Dmitry Rogozin. This one I started reading daily after he tweeted in February that Russia would kick America's ass. Also see here for a nuanced take on gays in the military.

[Weird Russia] Atomic mining

"Also outside the box of traditional resources is the concept of producing oil directly out of the Bazhenov shale. (...)

Always big fans of nuclear energy, the Soviets even detonated nuclear bombs (called 'peaceful nuclear explosions') in the Bazhenov to enhance the natural fractures and increase oil flow (it did not work)."

From John Grace, Russian Oil Supply, pg. 44

Pictures of Vladimir (the city)

English Russia has some really great aerial pictures of Vladimir which make me feel all nostalgic (but mainly for 10 rouble bus rides).

Check out this badass shot of the Bogolyubovo monastery:

(Photo from EnglishRussia.com, duh)

Peter the Great

I finally finished Robert Massie's massive tome of a biography, Peter the Great, given to me by my mother at Christmas. It's a great work, exciting at (almost) every page, and with historical detail on many colorful figures of the time (e.g. Karl XII of Sweden) not just the big man himself. I figured it would be appropriate reading while staying here, in the city that he imagined and built.

A few interesting notes:

• For official ceremonies and meetings with foreign envoys, Peter would often install a member of his circle on the throne, preferring to watch from the sidelines or slink out when proceedings were boring.
• During his two year grand tour of Europe, he spent months working as an apprentice in the shipyards of Amsterdam. 
• He insisted on inspecting everything himself and learning every trade first hand. He learned to build ships, make paper, mint coins, turn lathes, make chandeliers, cobble boots, and smith iron. Often working alongside a master, he would insist on being paid the standard amount for any apprentice.
• He was both strict (many would say tyrannical) and kind. To Europeanize the country, he forbid long beards - and often cut or ripped them out himself. He agreed to the torture and imprisonment of his first son. In the early years of his reign, he oversaw and was personally present for the torture and execution of approximately 1,500 traditional nobles and guards, fearing a conspiracy. When his two year old son died, he spent four days in his room, slammed his head against the wall, didn't eat. He elevated all men by merit, not traditional titles. He rewarded anyone who was honest and reported corruption or inefficiency. He married a Lithuanian peasant girl out of genuine affection, something unheard of for his time. 
• When traveling, he would use the stomach of an attendant as a pillow.
• At 6'7", he towered above most. He didn't fear the assassins who made attempts on his life. But he was horribly afraid of cockroaches, and insisted that all lodgings be inspected for them before he entered.

I think historians and ordinary Russians will endlessly debate the role of Peter, whether he successfully modernized a backward country or established an authoritarian template for those future leaders who would think of themselves as modernizers. Massie spends little time on such speculation, somewhat disappointingly. But it's hard to argue with his concluding words: "How does one judge the endless roll of the ocean or the mighty power of the whirlwind?"

The best political party?

In the wild freedom of the 90s, political parties sprouted in the post-communist landscape like mushrooms in a birch forest. Among them was, I kid you not, the Beer Lovers Party.

Apparently it was modeled on a Polish party of the same name, profiled by Time Magazine here. They won 16 seats in 1991.

So, who won?

You've seen the news, read the articles. The U.S. and Russia signed a new START treaty, cutting deployed strategic nuclear warheads to 1,550 - a decrease of 30% (depending on how you count). But who benefits from this politically?

Obama, as usual, is getting criticized from both right and left - his new nuclear doctrine doesn't go far enough the NY Times editorial board claims; scaremonger Charles Krauthammer assures us that it is the end of western civilization.

I think when all the dust has cleared it will be seen as a win for Obama - he was able, at the very least, to restore good working relations with Russia and, at best, thereby secure help on Iran and in Afghanistan.

But what about Medvedev? On the one hand, it is seen as his initiative, free of Putin's influence. For the younger generation of lawyers and businessmen who are concerned with modernization - and who know that maintaining a large nuclear arsenal is costly - this will be seen as proof of Medvedev's commitment to reform. For Russian hardliners, the communist party, and for the siloviki who surround Putin, it is already seen as an unnecessary concession to the U.S. which, by the way, is still considering a missile shield next door.

It's hard to see this as an immediate win for Medvedev, despite his utterances to the contrary. But there's an angle which most people are missing in their commentaries - they're failing to consider Medvedev's European Security Plan. Medvedev has been promoting his "14 Points" plan since almost the beginning of his presidency, though the U.S. and NATO states mostly have ignored it. But, as of yesterday, Slovakia has become the second country (after Germany) to back the plan.

If Medvedev can leverage the START treaty into further support for his proposed European security architecture, it will be a definite win.

UPDATE: You can read a copy of Medvedev's European security proposal in English courtesy of the Kremlin's website, here.

[1955 Encyclopedia] Heaven

"HEAVEN, according to religious beliefs a special place in the 'afterworld' in which seemingly the souls of the 'righteous' reside (in contrast to hell, where seemingly reside the souls of 'sinners'). The notion of heaven is connected to the belief in an immortal soul. In exploitative society the church aspires to promise 'heavenly bliss' to take workers away from the path of active struggle against the exploiters."

[Weird Russia] Military barter, cont'd

Another example, with Malaysia:

"...Russian agencies were reported to be practically tripping over one another in Kuala Lumpur, each seeking to be the 'lead agency' entitled to a sales commission. (...)

By the time Deputy Prime Minister Oleg Soskovets concluded the deal in June 1994, it was only 18 MiG-29s at a price of $775 million, part of which Russia accepted in palm oil."

The Foreign Policy of Russia, pg. 321

On parking

Whether out of an underdeveloped sense of civility to pedestrians or a common understanding that roadways are already realms of hazard, many Russians are poor parkers and insist on jamming their cars into and onto every available curb, sidewalk or wheelchair ramp

It's common to see SUVs parallel parked on the sidewalk and it can be a pain in the ass to step into traffic to avoid them. The other day I was making soup and heard a 30-second-long car horn blare beneath my window. I started to grind my teeth and then realized that one of the residents of my building was stuck coming out of the internal driveway because some leotard had parked at a 45 degree angle across the exit gates. Thirty minutes later the honking started again - this time it was some other poor schmuck trying to get out.

My buddy Josh who has already been living here for a while said he was working on a blog post with a year's worth of Russian parking pictures. But an intrepid Russian blogger has beaten him to the chase.


I was watching Channel 1 (govt. station) news tonight and they were running a segment on the issue, tugging at heart-strings with a woman who can't find space on the Moscow sidewalks to push her baby carriage. Then they profiled the Alpha-Dog: a young man who runs the website "Я паркуюсь как идиот" - "I park like an idiot".

 Check it out - here's one of my favs, it's double-fun cause its a cop car:

PS - Happy Easter!

[Weird Russia] Military barter

In the 90s the Russian defense industry was in a bad state - Gorbachev had radically cut defense spending in the late 80s and 3rd world purchasers were increasingly hard to find for low-grade Soviet weapons systems. Strapped for cash, defense manufacturers and the state run defense export agency started accepting bartered goods in exchange for weapons. Some amazing highlights:

"Among the most difficult [trade situations] was the case of the Chinese pigs that were traded for an arms shipment and then banned in Russia by the veterinary inspector, who suspected that they might spread hog plague in the country. (...)

In another instance, the Chinese bartered 15,000 low-quality radio-cassette players for three Mi-6 helicopters."

Source: Donaldson and Nagee, The Foreign Policy of Russia, pg. 281

The worst tax?

Found out today that in the Soviet Union there was a "Bachelor Tax" - a sum that unmarried males over 25 years had to pay. Truly the Evil Empire.

Meanwhile, I felt quite privileged a few months ago when I went to a club where everyone over 25 got in for free. (I guess in theory to keep out young hoodlums and attract people who can actually spend money).

Stalin posters UPDATE UPDATE

1) Moscow Mayor Luzkhov wants posters of Stalin around the city to commemorate the 65th anniversary of V-Day.

2) Medvedev says no.

3) Luzhkov insists.

[Weird Russia] News roundup 4/1

For April Fool's Day, here are three stories which purport to be real. It's both funny and sad that such things are conceivable in a modern country...

• Model Naomi Campbell, engaged to a Russian real-estate mogul, is being recruited by Putin's party United Russia to become a member and new spokesperson. Quote: "If Campbell becomes a member, most likely honorary because of her British citizenship, said the source, she would be the highest-profile black member of the party. She will be the second or third black member, he said, “I think.” "
• In a supposed effort to curb counterfeiting, the Interior Ministry hasproposed registration for all xerox machines.
• For today's holiday, the largest polling center in Russia has released some of their greatest responses . My favorite - Question: Who is Barack Obama? Answer: “the well-known leader of Chechen [terrorist] groups.”