LDPR & Vladimir Zhirinovsky

Meet Vladimir Zhirinovsky. You probably don't know him, but he's a household name in Russia as the leader of the Liberal Democratic Party (LDPR) and perennial presidential candidate. He's on TV on a regular basis, talking about this and that and usually saying something insane.

Peruse his Wikipedia page and you'll see all sorts of craziness. One of my favorites: in 2008, mad at Great Britain, he suggested dropping a nuclear bomb over the Atlantic to flood England.

One of my Russian teachers once told me that he's the only politician who is able to say precisely what he means. He's kind of a calamitous Russian Pat Buchanan.

I have in front of me a leaflet of the 2007 "All Positions" party platform (big up to Evgeny in Vladimir). From the table of contents, you'd think its a normal program - chapters like "Power," "Security" and "Social Questions."

Here are some highlights:

IV. Security
...With regard to terrorists ("Nord-Ost," Beslan) it's worth it to reinstate the death penalty, to carry it out publicly and to punish the relatives in the terrorists' families, otherwise we won't correct this problem and will develop a Palestine-Israel situation.

...Forcefully deport the homeless from large cities to a place of continuous residence and subject them to treatment in special establishments.

VII. Population
8. Abortions. In our country there are 2 million abortions a year. We need to convince women to give birth. Why doesn't she want to have a child? If it's an unwanted baby, we need to convience her to give birth. If she gives birth, it's a plus to her health, and the government will provide her money. 100,000 rubles for the birth, for example, and then the government will take the child away to a childen's home.

10. Artificial Insemination. In every region there's a center of obstetrics and gynecology. Women, who want to get pregnant without the participation of men have to pay 50,000 roubles. They don't have husbands and live by themselves in one-room apartments, and on top of that have to acquire 50,000 to get pregnant. Let's give them 100,000 rubles, a free insemination and demonstrate the priorities of our new program.

23. The Army. Don't want to serve in the army? Have a child. Again you don't want to? Have a second, a third. Until you're 28 years old and a father of three. They could be foster children. Whichever variation.

IX. Foreign Affairs
...the return to Russia of all outlets to the Black and Baltic Seas, the Indian Ocean and the Near East.


(My italics because this is crazy)

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Apropos - in 2003 Zhirinovsky said he looked forward to the day when Russian soldiers could "wash their boots in the warm waters of the Indian Ocean." In 2008 he received almost 10% of the vote for president. How does Putin look now?